Life must go on, I forget just why...

I’m not sure why, but for the first time in years (I mean YEARS), I actually feel happy.  I don’t know what has happened.  I don’t know why my 20 year depression has lifted.  I’m not understanding this at all.

But I’m not complaining.  Not in the least.  I’ve been weaning myself off my 2nd antidepressant, Pristiq, and by the end of March, I will no longer be taking that at all.  Maybe it’s my partial retirement or maybe it’s that $1MM in the bank.  I just don’t know.

I’m getting older.  I’m fatter and less fit.  I hurt more.  I have less energy.  But I feel happiness for the first time in decades.  I wish I could explain it.  But for the time being, I’m just going to enjoy it.

I’m excited about life for the first time since I can’t remember when.  I’m looking forward to tomorrow, not wishing that I won’t wake up.  My house is a mess.  My life is a mess.  But I’m happy.

Now watch, I’ll probably die in my sleep tonight.  If I don’t, I will add to this tomorrow.

I’m adding a note here that I did not, in fact, die in my sleep.  However, as punishment for my bad thoughts, I had an impossible time falling asleep and was still awake at 6am, even after taking 2 Xanax!

So, today MPL had to wake me at NOON! And I felt like I’d been run over by a snowblower.  But now that I’m up with half a cup of coffee in my gullet (as well as a slice of yesternight’s pizza, I’m recovering both my energy and good spirits.

And the above photo was taken by me a few days ago as all four fuzzball’s were conglomerated together on the deck, in the sun waiting for the snow to melt.